Posted by: Tony Carson | 1 October, 2007

Why don’t gays have their own name, like lesbians do?

Why don’t male homosexuals have their own neat name like women homosexuals do?

Wouldn’t it be a lot clearer and cleaner? Wouldn’t it be a lot more efficient and meaningful? I mean, lesbians, they date back all the way to ancient Greece. Gay guys? Maybe to the ’70s.

According to wikipedia, the earliest known written references to same-sex love between women come from ancient Greece. Sappho (the eponym of “sapphism”), who lived on the island of Lesbos, wrote poems which apparently expressed her sexual attraction to other females.

Why can’t gay guys take the same approach? Get a few of the boys with classical leaning to search the ancient annals for a similar classical occurrence like the island of Lesbos? Surely they can find an early act in a place like, I don’t know, say, Thermopylae. And then you can have the Thermops.

Or better still, the apparent ubiquity of homosexuality in the ancient Greek world would allow for a few gay researchers to pour over ancient maps and just pick a place with the best name — active homosexuality would have been happening there anyway.

Maybe some place like Argos = argot; Thebes = thebite; Chalcis = chalcian. Or even Sparta = spartan — there is an eye-popping image, all those oiled muscular kick-ass bodies and it’s a great name just begging for some modern coinage.

And it would be so easy to institute. All the governing body of the international gay gay’s federation would have to do is to hit on a name, give it a heroic mythology (really easy to do) and then introduce it at, say, the Gay Pride parade in Sidney and insist on its currency.

And if males homosexuals actually did their homework and found an appropriate name, they could give us back the word ‘gay’ which was a wonderfully useful word until they stole it.

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